I recently participated in a 10-day silent meditation course to learn/practice one of the most ancient techniques of meditation, Vipassana. Since returning about a week ago, I've been slowly getting back into the swings, and in that brief time, I've already had a couple dozen conversations about my experience. I'm writing a mini blog series to codify my thoughts.
This is the second of three (3) posts about this experience, and it will be written in a Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) format. If you aren't familiar with Vipassana, I suggest first taking a look at Part 1 (general overview, some logistical questions). If you find yourself interested after reading the first two posts, you can see Part 3 (advice for people who'd like to give it a go).
My partner did Vipassana together with me; here's Part 1 and Part 2 of what she wrote about her experiences.
Why did you decide to do this?
I've been hearing about Vipassana as a "10-day silent retreat" from some friends, colleagues, and people in the community over the past few years. It sort of piqued my interest, but seemed kind of hippie dippie so I boxed it into the, "cool, but not for me" category.
As time went on and I learned more about people's experiences with Vipassana, I felt that it would be an interesting experience or good personal challenge to undertake. Ultimately, what tipped me over the fence was my decision to make some major life changes because of "a feeling" which I couldn't explain at the time.
I dropped a lot of my major commitments and embarked on an extended vacation of 5-6 months. Vipassana was planned to be one of the final stops in this journey for me to tie together what I'd done in the months previous.
How did it go?
I experienced a number of benefits from having participated in my first 10-day course. I think the technique that's taught in Vipassana has widespread application and everybody could benefit. I got a lot out of the experience and would recommend giving it a try. Caveat for my recommendation is that one should go for the right reasons (i.e. self-mastery, discovery of the inner self).
For me, the parts that you'd think would be most challenging were really enjoyable (e.g. not interacting with people for 10 days, clean and wholesome vegetarian meals). It was, however, incredibly challenging in ways that I could not have imagined (e.g. the determination/discipline it takes to maintain the continuity of practice, not being tricked by your own mind).
What was the most interesting thing that happened?
When the schedule permitted, I toyed a lot with meditating while lying down. It took a few days of diligent practice to arrive at a point where my mind wasn't wandering like crazy and I did not fall asleep during the meditation. From then on, my sleep quality soared - regardless of the number of hours I slept, I felt energized and ready at all times. No grogginess whatsoever.
The type of sleep I was experiencing was one of constant awareness. I would be aware of when my mind/body transitioned into "sleep" or "dream" or "awake" states, but always as an observer. The vividity of my dreams was incredible and I could recall them like memories of something that happened a few hours earlier in the day. It was different than lucid dreaming; really neat in its own way. An experience like never before! :)
What was it like to go ten days without talking?
To be honest, the Noble Silence was probably a highlight for me. I'm surprised by this. The break from engaging with others, disconnecting from all devices, and the opportunity to look inwards were very refreshing. Something neat: my vocal chords felt incredibly light starting around Day 4 and got better each day onwards - hard to explain, but it was really cool.
Did you struggle with the vegetarian diet and not having dinner?
My partner and I planned to wean off meats/dairy in the two weeks leading up to the 10-day residential Vipassana course, but that didn't really happen. That being the case, I was surprised that the transition was not difficult at all. Ditto for not having a meal for dinner.
If I were to comment on the food, I'd actually say that it was a highlight for me. The meals were very fulfilling and felt well balanced for meditation; the kitchen didn't leave anything to be desired. I did not once find myself hungry in the evenings, nor feel weak throughout the day.
Hmm, what foods stood out the most for you?
For breakfast, I couldn't rave enough about the boiled prunes. Including them in my hot oatmeal was mmm-mmm delicious! For lunch, the meal that stood out most was a shepherd's pie made with lentils/veggies, served with a to-die-for mushroom miso gravy. In the evenings, I enjoyed having an apple + grapefruit before sipping on my hot ginger tea... There was even chocolate cake once!
Did you have any experience meditating before this?
Not exactly. I've had a few forays in life which have built up mental/physical discipline, but not formally in meditation. Some examples: Practicing military drill and athletics instilled a strong level of discipline. Archery requires/trains for a high level of concentration. Regular journaling & reflecting since my teenage years. Tons of research into topics of interest, which usually take me into a state of 'flow' where stuff gets done very productively and I completely lose track of time.
These experiences helped in the physical aspects of sitting for long durations, but conspired to work against me in the mental arena. The way I've learned to be throughout life were completely counter to how one is supposed to approach learning the Vipassana technique.
What do you mean by that?
I'm a person who thrives on deconstructing stuff and rebuilding them in such a way that they make sense. For example, I will (1) observe to take in as much detail/data as I can, (2) review individual details/data to combine some into useful categories, (3) analyze the categories to create a useful structure/model, (4) play devil's advocate by trying to poke holes to find flaws or areas I disagreed with, (5) ask questions to the assistant teacher during 1200 or 2100 times, etc.
This is completely counter to how a student meditator is supposed to learn the Vipassana technique. The 10-day course is built around experiencing first-hand and coming to an intellectual understanding based on that experience. This was an enormous challenge for me because my instinctive approach to learning was in the opposite manner. This made it feel like my entire mental model conspired to work against me.
After going through the self-inflicted torturous experience, I now know that I should have gone in with an attitude of trust and discernment while giving fair trial for 10 days to the technique. Even as a detail-oriented person, I must to say that the course is exceptionally well designed.
The technique is taught progressively from Day 0 through Day 8, with the complementary evening discourse explaining what/how/why based on the particular day's practice. The rationale for this curriculum design is now abundantly clear to me; I am doing a home study to unlearn the bad habits I built up and re-learn the technique as it is meant to be practiced.
What was the hardest part?
During the course, the hardest part was maintaining the level of concentration and discipline required to maintain continuity of the meditation practice for 11 hours a day. There are breaks thrown in throughout the day, but I found being with myself and having to work at meditating for that long every day to be quite the challenge.
At the end of the course, on Day 10, when the Noble Silence ended, I struggled with being around noise and talking to people. I felt extremely anxious when making eye contact with other students (it was so intense!) and could feel myself perspiring when engaged in light conversation. It took 3-4 days before it felt familiar/normal to socialize with people again.
What benefits have you personally experienced?
There are so many benefits that I experienced, either physically or emotionally. Some of the tangential benefits really took me by surprise (e.g. heightened sense of taste, no longer bothered by bugs, magnified love/compassion for others).
Nothing to hide, but I won't go into any detail here. I feel that detailing what I got from the course could set an expectation for those who'd like to participate. The practice of Vipassana, and the benefits it can generate, are both universal and highly specific to the meditator based on their life journey.
Feel free to ask me in person about the benefits if you're really curious about it.
Would you do it again?
Yes, but not right away. I would like to sit one more 10-day course as an 'old student,' and then serve a 10-day course to give back to others who are learning/practicing the technique. Hopefully I will be able to find time for this in 2017.
Okay sounds cool, I might want to give it a go. Got any advice?
Yep! I've written them up in in Part 3 of this mini series :)